Leaving Cusco...

 

As I prepare to leave Cusco I wonder what this trip has meant. Many people have asked me was it everything I thought it would be. The answer is no and yes. Before I came to Peru I was in this almost euphoric state. I was so happy. Living my life. I had just quit my job and was actively pushing through to a different stage in my life. It felt good. It felt wonderful. It felt like I was the captain of my own dreams. Like the world was at my fingertips and all  I had to do was be about it. I was almost embarrassed by the extent of my happiness. I felt like one of those couples making out in the middle of the street with the joy of their love, where everyone is staring at them with disgust and to go get a damn room.

 

 

I have done everything I have wanted to in Peru. But if I had to be honest, that euphoric feeling is gone. I am still happy and amazed, but I am not floating. This does not mean that the lessons and quest are any less. I wanted to challenge myself. I did. I wanted to see a different part of the world. I did. I wanted to be outside my comfort zone. I did. I wanted to learn new things. I did. I wanted to show myself that for the rest of my life it I dreamed it I could do it. I did. When I was in my state of euphoria, one thing I prayed for was that when things get hard, which they inevitable will becuase that is life, that I would remember that feeling and continue to be thankful. I am.

 

 

So I am here, in my last few hours in Cusco. Tired, not finished pack thou its 2am and I have an early morning flight, and still amazed that I ever even thought about coming or even made it. I have met some great people. Seen some beautiful things. And I am at the point where I will miss it. Where the thought of staying longer is a real consideration. But I must go. I have too many new chapters to write. And plus, I'm about to have my momma's cooking. What in this entire world can make up for that?

 

 

E

 

 

 

Lists...

Things I miss about America

• Mac and cheese
• Being able to drink tap water without having to take antobiotics for a week
• Heated buildings
• Momma's cooking
• My nephew
• Men that are taller then me
• Eating a lot of vegtables and fruit
• Related to point above, pooping right because I am eating enough  vegtables and fruit
• Brunches with unlimited mimosas.
• Scratch that - just breakfast in general that is not just bread.
• My friends.
• Being with people that know your whole insides.
• Going out to concerts for $5 in NYC.
• Museums that are bigger then my NYC apartment
• Speaking "slang" - when I say 'c'mon son' I want comprehension - there is a very important reason I'm saying it

 

 

 

 

Things I Like About Cusco

• Hot chocolate on the stove - that powder ish is not going to cut it anymore.  
• Walking around and always being surrounded by the natural wonder of mountains.
• Learning spanish and willing to sound stupid.
• Getting that look when your talking Spanish from a Peruvian that exist in every language - I didn't understand what the fuck you just said - with a slight a head cock and nose in stank face mode.
• Meeting new and inspiring people that I woulld have never met in not going outside my box.
• Literally being surrounded by some of the most profound history in the world.
• People pick their nose and pee on the street like it aint nothing . Respect the gangsta in it thou I won't shake your hand.
• Learning (and struggling) at salsa. Still need to work on mi tiempo but love leading how to follow. Life lessons in the beat.
• Being inspired to do new things that I never would have thought about before.
• Orgasms at the Nightsky. Nuff said. (even thou the ice from the drink currently got me on antibiotics)

(Damn son. A lot of this is about food.)

 

 

 

 

Ten Random things about Cusco

 

1. There are dogs on the street  like stray cats in Harlem (but they belong to ppl)
2. Related the previous point,  if your a female dog you are not living the good life becuase there strait dog orgies in the street and the male dogs are running a train on you (see photo)
3. Never pay more the 3 soles for a taxi anywhere, it is only about $.30 a sol - but you argue with the taxi driver if he wants to charges you 4 soles or even 3.50 soles and walk out if you need to.
4. People from Cusco don´t really smoke. the altitude here is high (and therefore less oxygen) so it doesnt make sense for their health.
5. Ramen noodles exist everywhere.
6. Coco-cola here is made with real sugar and not corn syrup and taste better.
7. No Peruvians own property on the Plaza de Aremes, which is the center tourist spot in Cusco.
8. Spring is as warm as it gets at a whooping 60 to 70 dregrees in the day and 40s at night, summer is the rainy season.
9. Women from here breastfeed on the street. I saw this lady sitting on the street with her child sucking on her goods using no hands just both of them sitting on the street - I would have taken a picture of it if I was disrespectful.
10. Cusco means the center of the world.

 

Wild Times at NightSky

I have not beeen visiting ruins lately. Or museums. Actually, I have been pretty pooped out. All I want is to rest. What I have been doing, however, is continuing my salsa classes at the NightSky. And after my salsa class me and the girls in the house I live in stay and chill and dance. Now, I have not drank since I have been to Cusco. But on this night I decided to try something callled "Orgasm in the NightSky." And let me tell you, thats exactly what it taste like. But with Baileys, Kalhua, ice cream,and chocolate - how can you go wrong? So we all have a round of Orgasms, including the teacher and the waiter who likes one of the girls so we get stronger drinks. Needless to say after all those orgasms we had a good night. Some highlights are the confusing the spanish word papi for the english word puppy, and now thats the waiters new nickname.  Joining someone else's birthday party including hitting the pinjata. Us stopping the salsa music in the club to play Tina Turner's "Private Dancer" to my dance instuctor and him not understanding a word of it or that its his new nickname. Singing our hearts out to U2, Bon Jovi, and Red Hot Chilli Peppers (I tried to put on JayZ but it wasn't working for the rest of the group). Dancing salsa on bar tops (it was only 30 seconds and after me a my private dancer realized we would fall to out deaths with another spin we stopped - don't judge me). Oh - and finding out that my instructor who I thought was gay for about six weeks is in fact straight (after of course I told one of the girls that he definitely does not want her becuase he has a boyfriend). I also don't think he understood that I have been telling people that he is gay. But we have clarified that the man he introduced as his boyfriend is security.

 

Sigh, good times.

 

 

Feeding baby monkeys in the zoo my granola bar..

My teacher brought me to the zoo. Thou small I had a lot of fun. It is located within the National University in Cusco. Here are some pics. One of the pictures is the monkeys trying thier hardest to reach for my Nature´s Valley Granola. Lol.

 

The Natural History Museum has a monkey that looks like its going to jump out the glass and eat you...

 

 We are learning the names of animals in my Spanish class, so my teacher decided to take me to the natural history museum. So far I have been disappointed by the museums in Cusco (its a small city and museums reflect that), but still managed to scrape up some excitement for the class trip. Like when you are a child, any chance not to be in class not learning more verb forms will make you happy no matter the excuse. The inner child still lives in all of us. Unless you are one of those go hard nerds, and we don´t like them anyways.

 

 

So, we go to the Museum of Natural History which literally can fit into the reception area of the Museum of Natural History in NYC and is located in a section of the Law School here in Cusco. Now, its no where as good as the museum in NYC but did have its hightlights. The dead stuffed amimals (taxidermy) were quite ugly to the point of distraction. It looked like it was going to attack you. I don´t know what the person who was making it was going thru- the animal didn´t do nothing to them. Then they had the remains of baby animals perserved in jars with some kind of mummy liquid which included a lamb with 8 legs and a deer with two heads. No, I am not lying. See photos.

 

Later on I was told that I am spoiled becuase I am used to going to grand museums. Well, my response is that if their is one thing to be boogie about it should be museums.

 

 

E

Birthday in Peru...

 

I decided that didn´t want to spend my birthday with random people who don´t really know me. I went to a spa and did the massage, mani, pedi thing. I woke up in a good mood, feeling blessed to be alive. Had a big breakfast with the Peru fam (I showed them how to make scrambled eggs and now they love me thou are also accusing me of making them fat). Then went off the be pampered.  

 

 

So I go to the spa to get my first ever massage. Ms Massues ask me to strip but leave on the undies. So here I am naked under a towel on my tummy. And then she pull down my undies a little lower and internally was like WHOA. But then decided to stop being stupid and let the woman do her job. She starts rubbing my head (which was a-ma-zing). I had to tell myself don´t drool don´t drool don´t drool. She worked out the midgets hanging around in my shoulders (which was a-ma-zing) and then I was like don´t fart don´t fart don´t fart. She started massage my arms and I was like don´t laugh don´t laugh don´t laugh (did not succeed - some of you know how ticklish I am). And then she was massage my lower back and a little bit the top of my butt and I was like don´t go near the crack don´t go near the crack don´t go near the crack. I will not be able to handle it. I´ll just have to get up and leave.

 

 

So my point is that I was spending so much time thinking that I did not fully relax. Thou the massage was very good and worked out some kinks in places i didn´t know I had (But when she got to my foot I almost kicked her in her face. You cant just touch a ticklish persons feet without warning.) Next time I will try to be in a better frame of mind and let go more. Thou my brother told me later on that if I didn´t drool then it wasn´t good enough.

 

 

After, I went to my Peru home and the family had a chocolate mocha cake for me. So sweet. They have such warmth and if I counldn´t have my family they are the next best thing. Mama Edith (house mother) has been nothing but warm and welcoming, making my Peru experience better.

 

 

But I am not going to lie. As the day went on I got really sad. I just missed my family and friends. I missed being around people who really know me, where no explainations or backstory is needed. But as soon as I called the fam my spirits were lifted. Just to hear their voices made me happy. Also, my friend sent me a picture of my fat child and that also made me happy (its so sad - I think I miss my cat more then some people :/... don´t judge me).  

 

 

That being said i am glad to have another year ahead of me. I don´t feel like I´m getting old at all. In fact, it´s the opposite. I have been so responsible these past few years, so grown up. Now I am getting to a stable place in my life where I can actually make decisions that make me happy. That´s a blessing. If you happy about the way you live your life and the decisions you make in your life then your age shouldn´t be a problem, becuase it is a reflection of your path. So far, I´m liking my journey.

 

 

So dueces and heres to being 25 and sexy with my strut.

 

 

E

Machu Picchu Pictures

So a mountain high of this foolishness. Below is a picture of the entire walk from a birdseye view.

This is when I realized that I needed to keep on going.

The famous Machu Picchu.

Facing fears.

Voyage to Machu Picchu - Touching the Mist (Machu Picchu Day 2)

(Thats MP in the background - thats me with sweat and mist)

 

 

So I am in Machu Picchu with a whole bunch a hikers/backpackers. We wake up at the very early and ridiculous time of 3:30 am to be out the hostel by 4:00 am for the hour and half walk to Machu Picchu. You have to be one of the first 400 people to be able to actually climb Machu Picchi itself. As a result, people get there at the ass crack of dawn in order to get thier necessary stamp.

 

 

When I tell you that I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

 

 

So we walking, and its raining, and its dark - which is fine. Someone in the backbackers group let me borrow a rain poncho when it was clear that I was not ready for this adventure. I am following the people who got flashlights attached to thier forheads for the little light it provides. With my glasses foggin up I need as much help as possible. But again - its fine. I´m not complaining. Gotta thug it out with the backpackers.Then the mountain part of the walk starts. I was like what is this incline. Nobody warned me. And then when it kept going I realized that we were going all the way up. A mountain. Sigh. Ok. Gotta thug it out.

 

 

Now I am a little overweight, which I can deal with. I can suck it up. But currently I am also sick with some kind of flu stomach thing going around at my spanish school and on these 30 cent antibiotics that you can get with no prescription but is stronger then you would get in the US. If I had to be completly honest I would say that the details that follow have 25% to do with my weight and 75% to do with my being sick. And it goes as such.

 

 

It took me for-ev-er to get up the mountain. I damn near passed out twice and had three/four 10 minute coughing sessions. No lie. It was so bad that when the old lady passed me I didn't even care. I thought someone was going to have to scrap me off the side of the mountain becuase I was going to pass out and fall to my death. That and my new found fear of heights - clutching to every rock convinced I was going to slip and die to the point of irrationality. My only wish was that I didn't pass out. It could take hours and I did not care. But how embarrassing would it be to be the the fool who passed out on the mountain.

 

 

Now I may be voluptuous (wink), sick, and afraid of heights but I am not lacking in spunk or heart.I knew I was going to somehow make it up. But there was a point where my confidence was waning. I was sitting for one of my many rest or coughing session (can´t remember which) and I looked up. And I realized that I was with the cloads. I thought I was walking through mist. But I was with the cloads. How amazing is that? How many people get to see that?  I am so high up already. I gotta go the rest of the way. So I pray to God for some strength and kept it moving. Not concerned about what others will think or how long it would take me. I judge myself by my own standards. And this girl, who never thought she would see a mountain other then driving by one in a car, climbed one.  I reached for the sky and touched the mist of the cloads. And that's amazing.

 

 

O and so was Machu Picchu. (lol - thou I certainly was not one of the first 400 people but I also did not care - I climbed enough mountains for a day and proved what I needed to to myself).

 

 

E

 

 

I really don´t like drunk people or white privilege... (Machu Picchu Day 1)

 

I finallly went to Machu Picchu, which is Peru's most famous site. Pictures of it inspired me to travel. I was like I need to see things like this in my life. There is a whole world out there filled with amazing experiences that I need to be a part of it. Can't be one of those people who don't know nothing thats not on the block they grew up on. Then I end up going to Peru so knew I had to make the voyage. My trip started Monday with a two hour bus ride and then two hour train ride to Aguas Calientes (the city where Machu Picchu is located). There was no one to pick me up from the station so I had to make my own way to the hostel. When I get to the hostel there is no one at reception so I eventually decide after a 10 minute wait that I was going to go throu the building until I find some kind of staff to give me some kind of room key. This is when I come to find my frineds that I am supposed to meet up with and the very drunk guide who didn´t met me at the train station. The night continued to be frustrating and tiring, but I will only give you the highlights.

 

 

The very drunk guide had no idea who I was or that I was supposed to join the group. He kept on saying that he had my entrace ticket to Macchu Picchu, then said he did not, then reintroduced himself to me like he had never met me. This happened about seven times. Thou this did not stop him from looking at my thighs.  Now I had already paid for my $45 entrance to Machu Picchu and was ready to cuss him out in English and the little Spanish I know. But I have a strict policy of not arguing with drunk people. Its like if you argue with a child. What do I look like arguing with someone I know don´t got no sense. He had to be escorted to the ticket booth and fronted the money to buy my ticket becuase he still did not remember that I was a part of the group.

 

 

While all this was happening, the group went out for dinner where I was sitting next to a white male who was very pro-american (and also drunk thou not inebriated). I heard him debating with some other hikers in the group and was saying some ignorant things that I strongly disagreed with. But with the same reasoning as the drunk guide, I was not trying to have a debate with someone who blindly argued and didn´t have much sense of how other people lived in America. I knew that reasoning would not mean anything becuase his point in talking was to exercise his privilege as a white man.

 

 

Then he said that Puerto Rico was an example on how the US spread American democracy. 

 

 

Sigh. (I still didn't argue with him but did give him a dry "No it's not. And it's bankrupt becuase of 'US democracy'." With a so shut up face.)

 

 

He also said that JFK was such a good president becuase as a rich white man he could represents the views of everyone, including me a Puerto Rican woman. And that as a woman I should be happy to be in America and receive the type of education I do.

 

 

Sigh. Telling myself not to argue with this fool. (Thou I did give him some brief comments it was no where near what he desearved.)

 

 

I´m an innercity kid. The American education system doesn´t mean shit to me. And stop as a white man telling me what is good for me. It is your privilege to sit there and think it's ok to tell me what is best. It is your privilege to even think so ignorantly becuase you have not been exposed to the way others live with any kind of understanding. And it is your privilege to walk away from this discussion and think it was a debate while I walk away wondering why I didn´t debate better in your language to make you understand the depth of your privilege and ignorance. And it is a result of your privilege that carry the weight of that burden.

 

 

But I did not tell him (all of) this.

 

 

And I am stuck between a rock and a hard place becuase I want to give him the full weight of my conviction but I do not want to engage with anyone who I can see will be a waste of my time and energy and the result will be me looking like the angry Puerto Rican woman. And I would be the angry Puerto Rican woman. I know my anger is pride, and I have come to a place where I don´t need to always school white people becuase they come from a place where my anger irrational. Again, its like arguing with a child. And what do I look like. I don't need to prove anything. But that does not change the fact that I walked away from this "debate" with an additional burden and feeling insuffcient in my ability and decision. 

 

 

On the other hand, this internal struggle is a reflection of my path. Thou I could have easily cussed him out, or less easliy debated with him, I am at a different place in my life then I was in college. (Some of you might remember the raging crazy person who gave political cuss outs on a regular basis). But I decided two years ago that I need to learn how to be quiet and not feel the need to expend my energy of things that don´t matter.  I have not come to a place yet where I have learned to balance out these two sides of myself. But I have gotten better. What I do know is that my life, time, and words are valuable and I should share then with people who I care for. If its not coming from a place of love then I don´t want it.

 

 

E