Pain in Transitions... Completely Weirded Out...

 

 

As I layed in my bed last night I was just missing Peru. Thinking that right now I could be salsa dancing with some man that wants to have sex with me drinking a drink called Orgasms. Now I am jobless, watching reality TV, eating chocolate chip cookies and turkey leftovers. The only entertainment being shopping malls to drown in American consumerism.  My only companian being my mom's weener dog that has been overfed to the point where it looks like an italian sausage.

 

 

I am back in America and so far have been completely weirded out by the country of my birth. The first thing I noticed was that I do not have to say buenas dias/tardes/noches to everyone I meet. I have been trained at this as an automatic salutations, and now I feel rude. Next I realized that I do not have to automatically translate all of my thoughts. Then I noticed that when I wipe my ass I do not have to put toilet paper in the trash but can flush it down (this is after two months of being paranoid that I would forget and flush toilet paper down the toilet and it would overflood the bathroom and I would have to shamefully have to ask someone for help and well as clean it up).

 

 

It feels so strange. I knew that I would miss some things about Peru, but I was not expecting to feel like a fish out of water in my own country. And it is not just sadness. It is like I was immersed in a culture and then have been snapped back into reality. Like I was in a dream that was my whole life for a significant amount of time, and now I have been dumped someplace and jolted awake.  There are streets I will never walk down again. Places I will never go again. People I will never see again. After they were all part of my daily experience. They are part of my lifelong memories. And I will never see them again. Peru was my whole life - and I will never have that experience again. When you live someplace a certain amount of time, you begin weaving the fabric of life, and now there is just ripped fringe on a beautiful and colorful fabic.

 

 

No one prepares you for this. But as in all things, there is pain in transition. So I will eat my leftover turkey and be thankful for my lifelong memories, as I wait for the longing to pass. And move on to the rest of my life. And to finding a damn job.

 

 

Also, I remind myself to the feeling that I had on the flight back. Happiness. Overwheling happiness to be home.

 

 

E